Triathlon Tuesday

Today was a good day. Clinic was good - I spent most of the day watching a knee replacement surgery, which was just crazy. It was so much more violent of a procedure than I expected...it just never registered that, in order to put hardware in your body, there's gotta be some bone crunching. Yikes yikes yikes. I definitely have a new appreciation for what my patients go through to get to the point that I'd be seeing them. Yikes.

So today started early, with a 30 minute run:

I've been running for distance for a while, and every couple of miles I find myself bored into stopping. This morning I decided to just go for time and told myself half an hour was all I needed to do, but I needed to do it. I brought a book (Warm Bodies, in case you're curious) and read while I ran, which helped a LOT.

I did it.

I know after seeing all these races this seems like no big deal, but if you look at the Nike+ logs, you'll see that there's usually at least one dip in there. Translation: I haven't actually run a full 5k. Every one of them has had at least a short break, somewhere in the middle. So for the race this weekend, my goal is to knock that off - I want to run the full 5k without stopping because, in the end, I can. I just get bored.

So that was this morning.

Tonight, I caught the 6:30 spin class. It was meh. Not my style I guess. But I got it done, so that's that.

After spin, I hit the pool for a while and put in half a mile (which Log n Blog counted as a full mile, so I'll be back in the pool later this week to make up the difference). I was a little bit kicking myself for quitting at half a mile, but then I went to get out of the pool and ate it and knew that was the right choice. My poor knee has some minor road rash now, courtesy of the pool deck.

Ah well.

I think today's going to be the start of a tradition though - Triathlon Tuesdays. I'm going to aim to run in the morning, then bike and swim in the evenings. We'll see how long that keeps going once classes start up again next week.

On that note, I'll leave you with the music video for the song that got me through the last few laps:




 Possibly one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. "Ladies, you just lay there while we look rich on a boat with sweet dance moves. Yeah, just like that."

Hairwell

Get it? Like farewell, but with hair? Because tonight's playlist is hair metal all the way baby.

Final count down - Europe
Nothin' But A Good Time  -  Poison
Poison  -  Alice Cooper
Rock You Like a Hurricane  -  Scorpions
Its A Long Way To The Top  -  ACDC 
Welcome To The Jungle  -  Guns 'n' Roses
Jump  -  Van Halen
Twisted Sister - Were Not Going to Take It
Mighty Wings (Album Version)  -  Cheap Trick
Feed my Frankenstein  -  Alice Cooper
Devour  -  Shinedown
Ave Maria - Hitman Soundtrack
Dreams  -  Van Halen

I had a good time finding this stuff, and there's a LOT that got cut simply because it's only a 45 minute class. I'm a little tempted to tell everyone they're welcome to stay a full 90 minutes if they want to...I'm not even sure what I'd do for that time, but I'm sure no one would like it. Worth it? Sure. But filters come down around minute 32.

The profile is going to be one of those "winging it" kind of rides. We'll see how it goes, but mostly...hills. Duh. I might actually switch Mighty Wings and Feed my Frankenstein so MW is last...that's a pretty epic final mile song, if you ask me. FmF is a solid heavy climb too, so...that works.

For the FIT class I'm teaching before spin tonight, here's what we're looking at:

That's pretty much what I do every week, by the way. Same notebook, same pink Sharpie (every week I look for a black one...never find it), same blue pen. As I put the moves in the boxes, I note what equipment we'll need up at the top, so it's easy to see what we need when I get to class. Tonight's not got a lot of toys but I don't think that's going to mean it'll be easy. It's probably not as much cardio as Karol usually does, but hey...it's my last class, so whatever. :-P

Oh, and PS for all you doubters out there (*coughLaracough*), here's as much proof as I've got that I ran Tough Mudder VT this year:

 Before

 At the end, immediately after crossing the finish line.

 With Calvin, our adopted Expendable.

 Hailing Jeremy.

 More hugging.

 Team after pic. We are fabulous.

 Monkey duck?

Pure, unabashed happiness. It was glorious.

For TM CO in a couple of weeks, I'm definitely planning on picking up a disposable waterproof camera of some variation. 

Strength in Disney

I'm a total wreck right now...I don't think I've mentioned it much, but I ran the Tough Mudder again this last weekend. The course was longer, harder, and had more obstacles than last year...I promise I'll get a full race report up tomorrow, or whenever the professional action shots get back. For now, this is the best I've got:

Shockingly clean for being 2 minutes past the finish line, but hopefully there will be better pics in the professionals' stash.

Anyway.

I taught strength this morning, and I had hoped that would wake me up some...apparently The Happening is a real and legitimate thing in New England right now, since just about everyone is clawing their eyes out at all the pollen in the air. I hope it's just allergies and not a cold, but it wouldn't shock me either way.

Anyway.

Tonight's workout is a result of several weeks' of in-class shenanigans based on the moves I've been having us do. Remember Dive Bombers? Made me feel like Ariel coming up off the rock wanting to be PART OF YOUR WORLD.

The girl has no upper body muscle...those waves must have helped a lot.

The glider walks made me feel like Ursula:

Terrifying and tentacly. Ick.

So tonight's workout, then, is going to channel a few other Disney gems as well.

Not quite sure how to work this one in. I wish we had hula hoops.

So we've got a few options:

Lion King: 

The Rafiki shake, using off-centered body bar:

Start with presses, then pulse at the top for 30 seconds or whatever. Make sure the bar isn't centered, so one arm is doing more pressing than the other. 

The Simba lunge and press:

Starting on a step, back lunge off the step, holding heavy weight at chest. Come back up and press weight up (like a lion cub), while kicking back leg up behind you.

Hakuna Matata switch lunges:

Just switch lunges, but add the arms in dramatically for comedic effect.

Pocahontas:
The canoe row:

Using the body bar, row. Might be more of a kayak motion. Can add a little hip flexor action by kneeling and coming up with every stroke. Could also add balance by leaning against a balance ball against the wall, in a static squat, while rowing. 

Wingapo: 

Using a light or medium weight, make this motion. Try to keep a straight face. For legs, hold a static squat against a balance ball...make it harder, make it one-legged. 

The Little Mermaid: 
Ariel Dive Bomber (see above)
Ursula Glider walk (see above)
Sebastian Crab walk with toe touch: 

Walk forward, touch hand to toe on each side, walk back. Complain about teenage mermaids and violent chefs. 

Aladdin: 
Magic carpet hover squats: No image for this one, sorry. Basically, come down into a wide squat. Staying the squat, move from side to side, ending up in side lunges on each side. Feet stay stationary.

Whole new world flying shoulder raises: 

Starting out kneeling on haunches, raise up onto just knees, lean forward, and open arms as if flying on a magic carpet. Use light to medium weights and focus on pulling your shoulder blades together while avoiding slapping the guy behind you. 

Rooftop step jump: 

You'll need two steps for this, preferably uneven (one set higher than the other). Place them about 2 feet apart from each other. Starting on one, squat then burst up and jump to the other one, either sideways or forward/back. Alternately, do uneven squat pulses with jumps to next level (ground to small step, step to high step, back down). 

Sleeping Beauty: 
Sleeping abs: 

Start out laying flat on mat, with medium weights grasped at chest.  Raise weights above head as if stretching up. Bring them back towards chest as you raise up from the floor. Once you're in a fully-seated position, open arms in a vertical chest fly, as if you're a princess waking up from a deep slumber. Bring hands back to chest, roll back to floor, and repeat until the right prince kisses you. 

Fantasia: 
The Broom Walk: 

Grab heavy weights and step up from floor to low step to high step, back down. Walk around, repeat.  Use the same leg to move up each time. Switch leading legs and do another set. 

Conducting Mickey Arm Raise: 

Using light or medium weights, start with arms down, palms out. Make an aggressive "come hither" motion and try to avoid hitting your face in the process. Anchor feet one in front of the other and lean forward/rock back for added movement. 

Stolen hat curl and tricep extensions: 

Using medium weights, squat down, grab the "hat", curl up as you stand up, bring weights above your head and dip them down. Raise arms back up, squat, and bring them back to the floor. Think of it like a REALLY big hat. 

Peter Pan: 
Taking flight: 

Suspiciously like a Superman, this move has you come onto your stomach, preferably on a slow step. Raise legs and arms (out to side of course), and lower. Focus on squeezing glutes and shoulderblades. Add light weights for added challenge. 

Gator Snatch: 

With light weights, put arms out in front as if  to simulate large, angry jaws of death and dismemberment. Open and close said jaws, making sure movement is controlled and slow. Alternate upper arm, either move by move or set by set. 

Walking the plank like a drama queen: 

Holding a single weight in both hands behind your back, step off tall step. Come back up and step off with other foot leading. 

Jungle Book: 
The Heteroquestionable Bear Dance: 

Front kicks with weighted punches. Flop the wrists for extra flair. 

The BearMonkey walk:

Using a resistance band, hook the band under both shoes and  hold the ends with hands. Keep palms facing floor, flex wrists, and anchor feet wide. Keep wrists flexed, come into wide squat, and lumber forward. 

I think that about covers it. I couldn't really find much for Beauty and the Beast, which makes me sad. So on that note, I'll leave you with this:

Mardi Gras Mayhem

Somehow, I've ended up with a lot of holidays to cover this year. Last week was V Day, I taught the last spin of the year in December, and next month I get to teach on Pi Day. Oh, Leap Day too, I get that one as well.

Today, however, is the best day of the year to all cajun Catholics and partiers everywhere.

Mardi Gras, y'all. It's magical.

You'd never know those proton packs were homemade.

There are a few things in life that are so pre-written as the traditional Bourbon Street Mardi Gras experience. (Given that we were celebrating with my parents and grandparents, it goes without saying that our experience wasn't exactly "pre-written", but bear with me here.)

With that in mind, tonight's workout is designed to make those of us who'll be celebrating at the gym instead of the bar feel more like we're not really missing all that much. Or something.

Mardi Gras Mayhem Workout:

Overall Move	Breakdown
The "Gimme Some Beads Mister" Shirt Lift with Squat Emphasis	Part 1, The arm lift: Imagine she's lifting her shirt, not dumbbells. For beads guys, for beads.  Part 2, The squat emphasis:  Part 3, Combine the moves. No pic for this, just imagine squatting while lifting your shirt over your head, except instead of living a shirt, we're lifting weights.
The "Yeah, sure, I'll give you some beads" enhanced bead throw with back lunge power generator	Part 1, The tricep extension:  She totally stole my workout outfit. Brat. Part 2, the back lunge: Like a front lunge, but the arrows point differently Part 3, combine the moves. Back lunge with arms overhead and dumbbells down against your back. Explode up onto one leg, flinging beads dumbbells forward, except not really because I want beads, not a concussion.
The Barroom Shuffle	Part 1, keeping the drinks out of harm's way.       Grab your light weights (or heavies, if you're dreaming of Hurricanes) and brace your feet about shoulder width apart. Keeping palms facing up, raise your arms out in front of you, then out to the sides. Bring them back to the center and down again. Sort of like what she's doing with her arms, not her legs. Also, "waitress arm lift" does not return the results you think it would. Geesh. Part 2, Quick feet. Keeping your feet a little bit wider than shoulder width, come down into a wide squat. Without letting your knees track over your toes, come up onto your toes and shuffle side to side a few steps.  Part 3, Sobriety Test. Combine the moves: come down into the squat and shuffle, with your arms raising front and to the sides as you shuffle. Remember to keep the motion smooth, since your sobriety depends on you making it back to the table without spilling too much.
Grabbing a Table at Cafe du Monde	Part 1, throwing some 'bows into it. Grab a resistance band and hold it out in front of you, about shoulder width and height. One arm at a time, keeping your arms parallel to the floor, pull back like you're elbowing someone's poor grandmother for the last table at Cafe du Monde. Keep the other arm out straight, to keep the space you've burrowed in the crowd open.  Part 2, moving forward. With a commanding stomp, plant your foot in front of you and come down into a walking lunge. Explode off the back leg like you mean it - take no prisoners.  Part 3, parting the crowds. Combine the moves. Lunge like you mean it and throw the opposite 'bow as you come down. The same foot and arm should be coming forward at the same time, for maximum crowd damage.
The Drunken Walk Home	Part 1, dropping stuff. With medium weights, place your feet wider than shoulder width apart. Reach down with your right hand to your left ankle, then come back up, pulling the dumbbell to your chest. Repeat on the other side, because dang if you're not just dropping stuff everywhere.  Part 2, the wobble. A crossover lunge fit for a Rex.  Part 3, the drop n wobble. Crossover lunge, bend down to pick up that thing you dropped. Continue walking forward, dropping and wobbling across the room.
Crawling into Bed	Nothing complex here - just a pilates pushup. Start at the top of your mat, walk your hands out, pushup, walk your hands back. Grab some weights for a press at the top if you want added pain.
The "I drank too much and now I need to get out of bed" abs spectacular	Part 1, the first attempt. Starting in a supine (laying down, for all you non-soon-to-be-PTs out there...yeah I know big words, what?) position, arms above your head, come up into a pike. Realize that's not quite the way to get out of bed and flop back down to start over. Repeat several times.  Part 2, crossed wires. Starting supine again, laying spread eagle, bring your right hand to your left ankle, straight above your head. When that doesn't work, try the other way. Repeat until you give up.  Part 3, making progress. Plant your feet on the ground and come up into a seated position. Lean back a little and grab a weight. Get confused about which side of the bed to use. Twist back and forth in indecision. Stop, decide to lay back down, but get only halfway before realizing you still need to pee. Start twisting again.  Part 4, let sleeping crabs lay. Flop back down onto your back again. Do this:  Flop back down to the bed and give up entirely.
Sleep it off	cool down and stretch, all that.

Gotta run to the gym now. Enjoy!

Body Bar Workout

Tonight I'm going to play with the body bars a lot I think. And the balance balls. We'll do some of this:

And this:

And a little of this:

This:

Umm...not this: 

Because I can't balance on a ball like that. Not yet anyway.
This:

Is totally doable, as is this:

Source.

In that last position, we might also do chest presses. Might also add in some kind of sit up/crunch with a twist thing, with the bar behind our heads.

I really like the moves this guy has too:
That skier position may be making an appearance tonight. The mopping one too. That's beautiful. I'll have to see how many people there are and if we can snag some plates from the outside area.

This looks like a good move for the end of class maybe:


I love that this guy is clearly working out near a playground at recess, and somehow that's not creepy at all:


But I'm also thinking about throwing in a couple of tabatta segments tonight...anyone done these before? Maybe I'll have the skiers be dynamic (moving legs back and forth) and make that the cardio. And I'll be immune because someone has to time it, right? :-D

So yeah. That's tonight.

Bear With Me

I'm going to draft this throughout the day, in hopes of having a reasonably doable workout by the end of the day. The formula I decided on for tonight's FIT class is this:

Warmup


Upper body (isolate upper body)
Lower body (isolate lower body)
Combo (upper and lower moves together)
Cardio (spike heart rate)
Balance (bring heart rate back down - hold positions for 30-60 seconds)


Repeat each circuit twice (once per side, most likely)
Do 3-5 circuits, depending on how quickly we go through them. I'm hoping for about 10 minutes total per circuit (run through twice) so this should be about right.
Abs for the last 5-10 minutes.


Cool down

Bam, class dismissed.

Oh wait, I need actual exercises, huh? Crap.

Note: whoo doggy, Google is on fire today. There were some gems in the results of seemingly innocent searches. Yikes. 

---

Circuit 1: 


Upper body: Forearm curls

Ummm...Google? That's not a forearm curl. Nice try. Sorry Mom. 

Lower body: Single leg squat dynamic
Combo: Flex when up, extend when down
Cardio: High knees
Balance: Single leg squat static - come down into a single-leg squat about half way and hold.

I hadn't even thought of this one...maybe I'll see if we have enough unbalance things to make this happen.

---

Circuit 2: 

Upper body: Pushups
Lower body: Single leg lifts (in plank position, lift one leg and hold for 5 count. Lower but not all the way to the floor. Repeat.)
Combo: Single leg pushups (keeping one leg lifted, keep hips extended and perform 5 pushups. Rest and repeat. Don't hurt me.)
Cardio: Spiderman obliques (in plank position, bring one leg up, swinging out to the side, to bring knee to elbow. alternate legs, doing as many as possible in 60 seconds.)

Balance: Awkward Airplane (Get on all 4s and lift opposing arm and leg to parallel with the floor, then move arm and leg as far out to sides as possible - I can't quite make 90* without cramping my butt muscle, but that's the goal.)

Umm not quite.

---

Circuit 3: 


Upper body: bicep curls
Lower body: forward lunges (one side per circuit - stable foot is the one that stays static)

Combo: curl while going into lunge
Cardio: keeping stable foot in the same place, lunge forward, side, back, then squat. repeat.
Balance: Warrior III on stable foot

Switch to other foot for second time through circuit.

---

Circuit 4: 

Upper body: Shoulder shapers (alternate one arm forward, one arm side, raising to parallel to floor)

Leg down lady, you're making this harder than it has to be. 

Lower body: Walking lunges
Combo: Alternate arms to maintain balance while walking lunging
Cardio: Alligator crawl (on hands and feet, get as low to the ground as possible and crawl as quickly as possible across the room - accent on staying low to the ground, this is not a bear crawl!)

Yeah, like that. 

Balance: Tree pose (stand on one leg and put the other foot as high up on that leg as you can...like a tree?)

---

Circuit 5: 

Upper body: Tricep extensions

Lower body: Squats. Just squats
Combo: Raise arms as you come out of squat

Cardio: Jumping jacks
Balance: The things I saw at PT that one (several) time. Put a dumbbell on its end on the floor to the outside of the stable foot, stand on one foot, and twist while you squat to touch the top of the dumbbell. Add challenge by holding a dumbbell as well. Make sure you keep your back straight, toes behind your knees, and core engaged. If you can't reach all the way down/to the side, do the best you can but do NOT go to the point of pain.

If it looks like we're only going to get through 4 circuits, I'll move this balance move to circuit 4 instead of the tree one.

---

Abs: 

Pilates 100

Russian twists: in a seated position, grab a weight of some sort and lean back and twist from side to side. Pick your feet up off the ground for added challenge. We'll go through this at 2 different lean angles: low and hernia.

Alternating triangles...do this:

using your obliques to pull you back up into standing. Repeat on each side 5 times, making sure movement is slow and controlled.

---

That should about do it. I'll print this out in very large type so my workout-stupid brain can see it from a distance, and modify as needed if it turns out I'm either a wimp or a slave driver. I want my classes to be tough but not stupid hard...there will be breaks between circuits, and I won't be going through them at a breakneck pace (I hope), so hopefully it'll be good. I figure I'll keep the favorite moves in rotation so people will see improvements week to week as well.

Any moves I missed that you love doing?
The playlist isn't special, just a Power Music one that's continuous 128 bpm.