Today, however, is the best day of the year to all cajun Catholics and partiers everywhere.
Mardi Gras, y'all. It's magical.
|You'd never know those proton packs were homemade.|
With that in mind, tonight's workout is designed to make those of us who'll be celebrating at the gym instead of the bar feel more like we're not really missing all that much. Or something.
Mardi Gras Mayhem Workout:
|The "Gimme Some Beads Mister" Shirt Lift with Squat Emphasis||Part 1, The arm lift:
|The "Yeah, sure, I'll give you some beads" enhanced bead throw with back lunge power generator||Part 1, The tricep extension:
|The Barroom Shuffle||Part 1, keeping the drinks out of harm's way.
Grab your light weights (or heavies, if you're dreaming of Hurricanes) and brace your feet about shoulder width apart. Keeping palms facing up, raise your arms out in front of you, then out to the sides. Bring them back to the center and down again.
Part 3, Sobriety Test. Combine the moves: come down into the squat and shuffle, with your arms raising front and to the sides as you shuffle. Remember to keep the motion smooth, since your sobriety depends on you making it back to the table without spilling too much.
|Grabbing a Table at Cafe du Monde||Part 1, throwing some 'bows into it. Grab a resistance band and hold it out in front of you, about shoulder width and height. One arm at a time, keeping your arms parallel to the floor, pull back like you're elbowing someone's poor grandmother for the last table at Cafe du Monde. Keep the other arm out straight, to keep the space you've burrowed in the crowd open.
Part 2, moving forward. With a commanding stomp, plant your foot in front of you and come down into a walking lunge. Explode off the back leg like you mean it - take no prisoners.
Part 3, parting the crowds. Combine the moves. Lunge like you mean it and throw the opposite 'bow as you come down. The same foot and arm should be coming forward at the same time, for maximum crowd damage.
|The Drunken Walk Home||Part 1, dropping stuff. With medium weights, place your feet wider than shoulder width apart. Reach down with your right hand to your left ankle, then come back up, pulling the dumbbell to your chest. Repeat on the other side, because dang if you're not just dropping stuff everywhere.
Part 2, the wobble. A crossover lunge fit for a Rex.
Part 3, the drop n wobble. Crossover lunge, bend down to pick up that thing you dropped. Continue walking forward, dropping and wobbling across the room.
|Crawling into Bed||Nothing complex here - just a pilates pushup. Start at the top of your mat, walk your hands out, pushup, walk your hands back. Grab some weights for a press at the top if you want added pain.|
|The "I drank too much and now I need to get out of bed" abs spectacular||Part 1, the first attempt. Starting in a supine (laying down, for all you non-soon-to-be-PTs out there...yeah I know big words, what?) position, arms above your head, come up into a pike. Realize that's not quite the way to get out of bed and flop back down to start over. Repeat several times.
Part 2, crossed wires. Starting supine again, laying spread eagle, bring your right hand to your left ankle, straight above your head. When that doesn't work, try the other way. Repeat until you give up.
Part 3, making progress. Plant your feet on the ground and come up into a seated position. Lean back a little and grab a weight. Get confused about which side of the bed to use. Twist back and forth in indecision. Stop, decide to lay back down, but get only halfway before realizing you still need to pee. Start twisting again.
Part 4, let sleeping crabs lay. Flop back down onto your back again. Do this:
Flop back down to the bed and give up entirely.
|Sleep it off||cool down and stretch, all that.|