Friday, October 28, 2011

Self Conscious

I'm going to put this out there in hopes that it will stop coming out in class.
You guys...I get stage fright. Crazy, damn near black out in front of the class because I can't stop my heart racing, stage fright. It's awful.

It's way worse when I'm subbing for someone who I know has a solid reputation. It gets exponentially worse when a) people walk out before class is over and b) only 2 people show up to my regularly scheduled classes. It's also not helped when I have to be the person to tell people to shut up so we can get class started.

Seriously, it's hard not to take this crap personally.

Wednesday night, I subbed for Leanne. She's a crazy person, but her FIT class is always packed. Always. They like the beatings. I was pretty sure the class I put together was hard enough, and I know it wasn't "too hard" because the ones who left were the ones who notoriously make the workouts harder than they need to be. Maybe it was just an off night, I dunno.

But then, my regular spin class...only 2 people showed up! 2! I know 6:45 is a weird time, but this is not a new class - usually there are at least 5 in there. It was a cold and nasty night, but still...I was there! And if I can drag my butt to the gym on a cold and nasty night, anyone can.

I dunno. I think I'm just moping over this for no reason.

I think I just need to get over it and stop thinking so hard about it. I'm still sore today, so at least I got a good workout out of it...


  1. I know this isn't the same, but it's similar: every time I throw a party, I get horrifiedly worried that people won't show up. And when the first people do show up, I feel like they're wondering why no one else is there, and thinking that we're so lame that no one else is coming.

    But, crappy weather, yeah, that would keep me from going to class if I were already on the fence. You're awesome and hilarious, so it's likely not you. Unless you smell really bad and don't notice it?

  2. You have put in the hard work to be a certified instructor, and you know you can put together a challenging workout. I would say it is definitely the weather. You could also try talking to people after class to get to know them. I know as a student, I love a chance to talk to the instructor a little bit. Helps me feel more motivated, and it may calm your nerves if you know people better. Good luck!